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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28881756">Easy Target</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/galacticsugar/pseuds/galacticsugar'>galacticsugar</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Great British Bake Off AU [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>5 Seconds of Summer (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>M/M, Meet-Cute, Swearing, Tumblr Prompt, kind of?, michael being a complete moron, very light implied sexual content</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 08:00:20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,466</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28881756</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/galacticsugar/pseuds/galacticsugar</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Michael’s multitasking as he steps onto the tube, texting Luke that he’s on his way as he swings into the seat just inside the door of the empty tube car. Except the seat hits his arse sooner than he expects, and it’s strangely lumpy. And it’s moving.</p><p>***</p><p>tumblr prompt "i'm sorry. i didn't mean to."</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Michael Clifford/Calum Hood</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Great British Bake Off AU [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2132871</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>tumblr prompts - ways to say i love you</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Easy Target</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">
      <li>For <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/jbhmalum/gifts">jbhmalum</a>.</li>



    </ul><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>for the tumblr prompt “I'm sorry. I didn't mean to.” for <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/jbhmalum">jbhmalum</a>. technically this was supposed to be a "ways to say I love you" prompt but this is what happened instead.</p><p>it doesn't really matter, but this takes place in <i>the great british bake off</i> au!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It’s not that Michael <em> missed </em> Luke when he was off filming for <em> Bake Off </em> . He definitely didn’t. He just missed Luke’s delicious treats. The only reason he even agreed to go over to Luke’s flat the first day after his two week post-<em>Bake Off </em> quarantine is because he’s been craving lemon bars and Luke promised to make a batch of his really fucking amazing lemon bars. Not too sweet, not too tangy. </p><p>It’s also Michael’s first opportunity to formally meet Ashton, and he’s hoping to make a better impression than he did the first time around. He doesn’t want Luke’s new boyfriend to only know him as the guy who asks strangers if they have any marriageable friends.</p><p>Michael’s multitasking as he steps onto the tube, texting Luke that he’s on his way as he swings into the seat just inside the door of the empty tube car. Except the seat hits his arse sooner than he expects, and it’s strangely lumpy. And it’s moving.</p><p>“What the fuck, man?”</p><p>Michael springs to his feet when he hears the words in his ear and looks down, red-faced, at the person who he just inadvertently sat on. </p><p>It’s a guy about his age with dark, wavy hair and expressive brown eyes that are staring at Michael, a vaguely menacing frown on his perfect face. It’s a shame Michael had to have sat on him under these particular circumstances, because in pretty much any other scenario he’d be more than happy to sit on this guy’s lap. The first thing he’d do is run his fingers through that beautiful hair. Maybe undo a couple of the buttons on his white shirt. See where it goes from there.</p><p>The guy clears his throat and Michael realizes that silently undressing this stranger with his eyes is probably not helping the situation. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to,” he sputters. “I wasn’t paying attention. Sorry.” He looks down at the floor and starts backing away from the stranger, figuring this guy would probably prefer if the weirdo who sat on him kept his distance.</p><p>But the guy <em> grins </em> at him, and in half a second he goes from hot and mildly threatening to sweet and adorable. Michael realizes he’s grinning back at him despite never actually deciding to do it. </p><p>“Don’t worry about it. Most action I’ve had in six weeks,” the guy says with a chuckle, eyes roaming up and down Michael’s body in a way that makes Michael stand a little taller and throw his shoulders back. The guy turns his attention to his phone and Michael drops into a seat at the other end of the car.</p><p>They both get off at the same stop, and Michael’s forced to follow Tube Guy up the steps and out onto the sidewalk. It’s a little awkward, but Michael is pretty sure the guy hasn’t noticed him trailing behind, so he just tries to continue keeping a safe distance between them. Once they’re out of the station, Tube Guy turns in the same direction as Luke’s flat, and Michael sighs quietly. All he can do is keep following. He sends a quick text to Luke.</p><p><b>Michael: </b>might be arrested for stalking soon pls answer your phone if police station calls.</p><p>Luke immediately responds with a peace sign emoji and Michael rolls his eyes. Things start to get tricky when Tube Guy suddenly slows his pace, head bent over his phone, and Michael quickly gains ground on him. </p><p>Tube Guy must hear Michael’s footsteps behind him, because he shifts to the edge of the sidewalk to make way and glances over his shoulder. He does a double take when he sees Michael behind him. He smiles nervously and gives Michael a little wave, which he seems to immediately regret and tries to cover by moving his hand to scratch his head.</p><p>Michael stifles a laugh. “I swear I’m not following you.”</p><p>“I wouldn’t mind if you were.” Tube Guy shrugs and, to Michael’s surprise, falls into step next to him. </p><p>“Did you just get out of prison or something?” Michael asks. Tube Guy looks at him, perplexed. “You said you hadn’’t gotten any action in six weeks,” Michael clarifies. “Thought maybe you just got sprung.”</p><p>“Close,” the guy says, with a chuckle. “You wouldn’t believe me if I told you though.” He goes back to watching his phone carefully as he walks, and Michael doesn’t want to accidentally stumble into awkward territory, so he leaves it be. He’s almost to Luke’s anyway.</p><p>“Well, mysterious Tube Guy, this is where I leave you,” he says, peeling off to climb the stoop to Luke’s front door and pressing the buzzer. “Was nice sitting on you.” </p><p>Tube Guy chuckles and opens his mouth to respond, then he skids to a halt, studying his phone with a frown. He looks up at Michael, squinting in confusion, then his face breaks into a mischievous grin and he climbs the two cobblestone stairs to stand next to Michael.</p><p>Michael stares at him, suddenly realizing maybe <em> he’s </em> the one in danger. Maybe all this time he spent worrying that Tube Guy was going to think he was a stalker would have been better spent worrying about whether Tube Guy was going to kill him. And now he’s brought a murderer right to Luke’s front door! Luke’s never going to forgive him if he ends up dead because Michael sat on a murderer’s lap on the tube and then led said murderer to Luke’s doorstep.</p><p>The door opens, and the second he sees Luke peering at him, Michael tries to silently communicate that Luke should really shut the door and call 999 while he’s still got time. At least one of them needs to make it out alive. </p><p>Unfortunately, that’s a really hard thing to say with just your eyes and a few manic facial expressions, and Luke is utterly clueless as usual. He just grins at Michael and gestures for Michael and the murderer to come inside. This is a new level of clueless, even for Luke.</p><p>Michael quickly jumps in front of the murderer and crosses into Luke’s flat, slamming the door shut behind him.</p><p>“Why did you just slam the door in Calum’s face?” Luke whines, grabbing at Michael’s hand to try to open the door. Michael holds firm, but Luke is deceptively strong (must be all that mixing) and manages to dislodge Michael’s hand from the doorknob in short order. He pulls the door back open and the murderer is still standing there, an amused smile on his face.</p><p>Michael grabs Luke’s sleeve to drag him away from the door and starts to dial 999 on his phone when he registers what Luke had just said and pauses. Does Luke know the murderer? <em> Calum</em>? The name sounds familiar. <em> The guy who was on Bake Off with Luke is a murderer? </em></p><p>“What the fuck, Michael?” Luke pulls his arm out of Michael’s grasp. “Come on in, Cal.” </p><p>The murderer - Calum - casually steps into the foyer. Suddenly he lunges at Michael and Michael screeches, crossing his arms protectively in front of his face. Calum and Luke both burst into laughter, and Michael lowers his arms slowly.</p><p>“What is your deal, man?” Luke asks, still giggling. </p><p>Michael’s face is bright red as his brain plays catch-up. He smiles sheepishly at Calum. “Sorry. I may have thought you were going to kill us there for a minute.”</p><p>“Why did you show up at my front door with him if you thought he was going to kill us?” Michael thinks that’s pretty rich coming from Luke, seeing as he literally threw himself in front of a potential murderer in an attempt to save them both.</p><p>“I didn’t think he was going to kill us until he followed me to your front door,” Michael replies defensively. “Before that he was just the guy I accidentally sat on and then imagined naked on the tube.”</p><p>“Is <em> that </em> what you were doing?” Calum asks. Michael shrugs, a <em> yeah, and what about it? </em>look on his face. Calum nods approvingly. “That’s what I was doing too.”</p><p>Michael had already kind of assumed - it’s not like Calum had been subtle about checking him out - but it’s nice to have the confirmation. He puffs his chest out a little and eyes Calum boldly.</p><p>Luke throws up his hands and walks toward the kitchen. “I don’t know what’s going on here but I don’t want any part of it. Go sit down and I’ll bring out the food.” He disappears around the corner, leaving Michael and Calum alone in the foyer.</p><p>“C’mon, Calum,” Michael says with a grin, grabbing Calum by the wrist and leading him into Luke’s living room. “You can sit on my lap this time.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>i'm on tumblr <a href="https://staticsounds.tumblr.com/">@staticsounds</a>; come say hi!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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